Our surrogacy journey.
Posted by Melissa - February 21 2019
Clients of Baxter Harries talk about beginning their surrogacy journey:
Myself and my partner Dan have always wanted a family of our own. Within hours of meeting each other we both shared the same dream…….to have a family.
We knew that being a same sex couple this would be a long, lengthy and difficult process for us, but we were determined to not let anything stand in the way of chasing our dream.
We looked into all options available to us which including traditional surrogacy as well as gestational surrogacy. We felt that gestational surrogacy was the way forward for us and now the hunt for an egg donor was on the cards. In October 2018 we found a great clinic in Wickford, Essex called Bourn Hall Fertility, who run an egg donation programme for couples and now individuals looking to start a family. We went along for an initial consultation at the clinic where we were given helpful advice and every option possible. We left the clinic feeling very positive and it was at this point that we knew our dreams were coming true.
Shortly after our visit to the clinic we were very lucky to find a known egg donor rather than using donated eggs at the clinic. We knew the known egg donor and felt that this was the route we wished to follow. Our egg donor was an experienced donor and this made us feel at comfort and ease.
We arranged another consultation with our clinic, this involved myself and my partner and our egg donor. It all went amazingly well, we had our counselling and a medication regime commenced for our donor. Before we knew it, she was going into theatre to have the procedure carried out (known as egg retrieval).
We were very lucky and managed to have 8 mature eggs retrieved. The clinic offers a procedure called an ICSI procedure, this is when one sperm is injected into an egg and then incubated for 5 days. By day 5, 3 out of the 8 eggs (known as a blastocyst) had made it and are now frozen in the clinic for to be transferred to a suitable surrogate.
Within a week of having our blastocysts frozen, we received a call from one of Dan’s work colleagues stating that she would love to help us with our journey, and would we consider her to carry our baby for us. Myself and Dan spent almost 2 weeks thinking hard and then decided to arrange to meet with Dan’s colleague, her partner and her children. Over the last 12 weeks our friendship has grown stronger and stronger and we adore her children.
We then made contact with our clinic to inform them that a suitable surrogate had been found and that we would like to proceed with the next steps. This involved more consultations, more counselling and more importantly for myself and Dan to seek legal advice to ensure that we knew our rights, to learn more about the parental order process and where we stand should something go wrong. Our surrogate is also seeking legal advice so that she is made fully aware of her rights as a gestational surrogate. Deborah Baxter of Baxter Harries Solicitors did just this for us, her advice and guidance was clear and very comprehensive. Deborah made us feel very relaxed and treated us with the utmost respect. We left feeling that our dream was now even closer than before. The next step for us is to all return to the clinic in February for tests that meet HFEA guidelines and to ensure that our surrogate is a suitable candidate medically to become a surrogate.
We feel very blessed to have met some amazing people along our journey who are helping us to achieve this amazing feeling of becoming parents.
Our Journey continues…………………………………..